Liseli

I haven't always been this way.
I remember brighter days;
before the dark ones came,
stole my mind,
wrapped my soul in chains.
Now I live among the dead,
fighting voices in my head...
hoping someone hears me
crying in the night and
carries me away...

Lonely days... so many of them now. How long, Sauda? Too long... far too long. Rest... We need rest. Just... please, only a moment. The edge of a paw caught on stone, and another slid on a patch of ice; the white fae staggered drunkenly, but instead of the eyes opening wide in fear, the green depths disappeared behind the heavy lids, as though the sunlight glinting off of the slick surface was too much to bear. The thin body hit the ground with a thump, but its owner didn't even acknowledge the pain; she was past feeling it now. How much further, Sauda? When... are we close? Nearly there, dear. Just a little ways more. Come now - get up, Liseli. You have to get up. We can both- -rest soon. With a desperate heave, the legs forced her small body up again, her too-thin, shadowed face wavering for a moment into sheer exhaustion, and a lack of will to go on. When she felt she might faint though, that inner voice spoke to her, forced her on, to what end she knew not. Slow and shuffling, one paw went over ahead of the other, and then again, and again, and again. And now... now wait. This place, the smells... scents assailed her, washing into her mind and singing tauntingly of an old memory, just out of reach; she had so few memories now. "Sauda?" It had been so long since she'd spoken aloud, that she startled at the sound of her own voice; hoarse, breathless, like a cry of the damned - she barely knew its sound, anymore.

Morning breaks, another day
finds me crying in the rain.
All alone with my demons, I am. I am I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek -
they scream his name!
Is this the one they say will
set the captive free?
Mercy - rescue me!

Darling

As softly colored as the mists that often hung in the bottom of the hills in the summer mornings, Darling's coat was a light blend of grays and pale tans. Her padding steps were nearly silent, and her youthful amber eyes gentle. In all aspects, the yearling was an overly quiet, observant young wolf that tended to go unnoticed more often than not. Even when no one was around, the wolfess took great care to keep attention off of herself and listen and observe all around her. Today, while Darling was spending time exploring the safety of the packlands, her constant vigilance of her surroundings and her keen ears paid off - she was the first in the pack to come across the presence of Liseli - though simple luck of being at the right place at the right time had some to do with it as well. Darling froze like a startled cat, eyes wide and fur wanting to bristle along her back; this was neither a scent nor voice that she recognized, and that could mean trouble. Unless...

The young wolf put her nose to work and slowly proceeded forward, following the suspicion that this stranger sounded on the weak side, and most definitely by herself. 'It's a female, and she's alone. She sounds unhealthy, in her voice and her steps. I could outrun her if I needed to.' Darling built up a quick rationale in her mind before she moved on further, traveling until she could finally see the arctic wolf that had stumbled into her territory. As was typical for her, Darling said not a word as she blinked and looked out at the exhausted creature, not knowing that Liseli had once been beta of this very pack.

Liseli

Flicker, flicker -
How's your ticker?
Not so well this Sabbath morning.
Flicker, flicker,
flame and blow,
watch the fire blow,
blow right out.

"Sauda?" The gentle breeze that was blowing nearly drowned out the repeated query, which sounded more appropriate to have come from somewhere beyond the grave than from the still-living being that was standing swaying in the cold air, the bare remnants of old, dead leaves blowing about her in a mini cyclone across the beds of ice and snow around her. More appropriate, perhaps, to believe this traveler a spirit, rather than a breathing creature. And far, far easier to ignore... she was used to being ignored. She was invisible to everyone, these days. No one now even remembered her name; it was lost in the endless flow of time, forgotten with Vestige and her glorious younger days, when her sister had been alive, and herself happy. "Sauda?" I'm still here, Liseli. I've always been here. I am the reason you live, the reason you keep living. Your life caused my death... now my death makes your life possible. You understand that, don't you? Tears worked into the emerald eyes, and they shut again, closing out the light and that horrible truth. But the voice was merciless. You know it's true, don't you, Liseli? Say it. Say it so that we both know it. The pain lashed at her like a whip, driving her onward as her soul writhed, and the hateful words echoed into the winter air. "My life... caused your death. Now, your death makes my life possible." She could taste blood on her lips, as she had that day - an illusion of her mind, though she was not aware of it. Today, her lips were clean, of blood at least. None of her had really been 'clean' for a long while. "When can... we rest?" She asked again, aloud now that her voice had been used, not seeming aware that anyone nearby could hear her. And why should she worry over that; she likely didn't understand there were still other wolves on the planet. Soon Liseli, soon. I promise you. Only a few steps more, and it will end. And Liseli believed the voice, continued to force her legs to carry her a step onward, and then one more, too drained to understand that there never would be an end to the wandering, and that the twisted version of her sister's voice she was responding to existed only in her own mind.

Darling & Starscream

Darling's nose quivered and her ears remained focused like a pair of furry radars on the intruder. 'Sauda? She's looking for someone. She must have been traveling a long time, by her condition. She's not a threat to us...' The young wolf continued to rationalize the situation, primarily assuring herself that there was no need to try and do her pack duties by chasing off or interrogating this wanderer. That is, until Liseli's delusional conversation brought up the mention of death, which to Darling, didn't sound all that safe anymore. 'I should find aunt Sylar... "Darry!" Darling's head swung to the side with one ear swiveling in the direction of her father's voice. "Darry, where are you?" The yearling let out a long, quiet sigh, but didn't call back to him - he could find her by scent anyway, and she didn't want to howl back anyway and startle Liseli. Not after that talk of death anyway.

It didn't take Starscream long to track down his child, whilst calling out to her in the sharp, ringing voice that had been the inspiration for part of his name. "Darry! There you are, why don't you answer me when I call you?" The slender brute padded to a stop near the yearling with a minor look of annoyance, conveyed with a pair of narrowed eyes and a quick huff of breath. Before he could go on, he caught Liseli from his peripheral vision and reacted with marked difference than his young daughter. He took immediate steps to place himself in front of Darling and expanded his ruff like to give his smaller, 90-pound frame a larger look. "Hey! Who are you?"

Liseli

Darling need not have put forth so much effort into remaining unnoticed; it was likely that, with her whole world sunken in fantasy and voices no one but she could hear, that the yearling could have jumped right out in front of her and Liseli would have walked straight into her as though she were not there. In her unhealthy state, she probably would have fallen over from the impact - and still not understand that someone was there. So she was deaf to Starscream's calls for his daughter, unable to hear them over the voice speaking in her mind, which kept pushing her forward as her legs quavered beneath her, its sweetly-cruel tones promising that soon, very soon, she could rest. She kept stumbling on, forcing Darling to follow at a slow pace if she wanted to keep her in view while she waited for her father to arrive - and when finally he did get to her, his words didn't receive the sort of reaction he was expecting. At first, she didn't seem to hear him at all, and proceeded along with her shuffle as though she were all alone in the world, her nose twitching faintly every now and then as she tried and failed to connect the familiar smells of the trees and plants, as well as one remaining familiar wolf smell, to her fractured memory. Liseli - someone is speaking to you. Look up! He's there. Answer him. Three full beats after he spoke though, after silence had rung between them, she jerked to a stop, and turned her head tiredly in his direction. She squinted blearily at the pair, clearly having difficulty focusing on them - her brain was just not processing information as quickly as it should. It was barely processing at all. She stared at them in stumped silence for several long seconds more, and then her once-pretty face coiled in confusion. "You're... not Sauda." Or have I forgotten again? No, you have not forgotten. I am here! Look, here I am. Her eyes drifted away from Starscream, apparently forgetting he was there for several moments, and to her left side, her weary mind showed her a sleek, small black form, green eyed and lovely, with a little white slash over the muzzle that matched her own like a mirror reversed in shadow. She smiled faintly, weakly, and then seemed to remember the two, for she turned back to them again, her expression fading back into exhausted neutrality. "If you're looking... to kill me, you'll have to stand... in line. I... I promised Sauda, see. That... that I'd let her." No submission, no apology, not even any apparent awareness that he'd fluffed up his ruff and leveled her with a threatening gaze; she didn't seem impacted by Starscream at all, and it was anyone's guess whether she'd even seen Darling.

Starscream & Darling

Starscream shared his daughters acuity in picking up things from his surroundings, as well as a fairly good ability to read into others. Right off the bat, he knew something was off with this fae, and it immediately put up a red flag in his mind. The wolf stepped back a few paces, guiding Darling back along with him so that the two had some distance from Liseli, even though she was stumbling along and putting space between them herself. "Darry, get your grandma." He didn't look back at her with his whispered order, nor did he have to. Darling dashed away from her father and went straight for the places where she knew Cortinarri often rested.

Rabies? It was the first thought that came to him, watching her stumble along without appearing to be aware than he and Darling were so close to her. That's what had echoed in his subconscious and prompted him to move away from her at first. His nose went to work and found that she bore no scent of illness, so... perhaps she was just a little off her rocker? Or dehydrated maybe, or simply exhausted. Either way, Starscream decided to handle the situation a litlte more cautiously, and trailed after her with several healthy feet between him and Liseli. "No... I'm Starscream." The male rumbled at length, letting the tips of his fangs be seem, finding himself even more confused when this stranger finally did acknowledge him. He stopped, daring to hold himself high, as if he were the alpha around this place, "There's no need to kill you unless you're planning on causing trouble for my pack. Start by telling me who you are, stranger." Starscream had no problem being blunt and authorative, but he held back some on his aggression, because he wasn't getting anything remotely threatening back in response from Liseli. She wasn't being submissive either, but... her strange behavior put him off, and he preferred to avoid physical contact with her right now if he could.

Liseli

The departure of the younger fae got no more reaction out of Liseli than her presence had; she was definitely disconnected from reality, and the vacancy at the back of her eyes emphasized that loudly. She turned them back and forth feverishly, accounting for things that only she could see, forgetting the male for another moment or two - until he spoke up again, and managed to capture her attention once more. "Who I am I am I am... I am- I was..." She trailed off, and the deep green eyes turned askance, toward the edge of her face as though she were concentrating with all her might upon answering the question he'd asked her. If she'd been human, she might have chewed on her lip in thought. Instead, her tail twitched in a short, spasmodic movement, and she staggered briefly forward as though she'd been moving and lost her balance, even though she was standing still. It took a second for her to recover, and when she did, her eyes turned back to him, jaden ghosts above the white fur. "No, no... a name... I don't have- no, not anymore. Maybe... Sauda. Sauda would know. Sauda?" She turned to her side again, looking for that flash of black fur, and the voice in her mind spoke again. You do have a name. But you're not allowed to know, Liseli. There are rules about these things. Your name is cursed among the ages. Trust me, you don't want to know. "I don't want to know. I don't want to know," the wolfess whispered, something of a mix between a prayer, and a child reciting a message that she didn't truly understand. "I'm not allowed. I don't want to know." She swayed back and forth, half in anxiety, and half because her balance was completely shot, and smiled ever-so-delicately at Starscream. It wasn't a happy smile, though... it was a smile of someone who was terrified that the mere expression might make the world shatter and fall in on them. "Please, I don't want to know. You... you must be very kind to me, I... I don't really know what..." She swayed harder, and her eyes closed for a moment; for a tense second, it looked like she'd faint right there. But finally, her balance stabilized, and the eyes opened again, staring at the snow below her. "I don't, I don't... don't tell me."

Starscream & Cortinarri

Starscream's amber eyes never let up on Liseli during her rambling, confusing pattern of words and behavior. He was getting a little nervous without letting it show on the outside, because he'd never encountered a situation like this. Sure, his 'mate' was bonafide insane and constantly found ways to unnerve the male and get under his skin, but she wasn't like this. He almost felt a twinge of pity for this female, but his first priority was to determine what was wrong with her and what threat she might present to his pack and family. "Sauda...? There's no one here by that name." Starscream spoke at length after she'd gotten through her whispered replies, and looked like she might collapse at any second during it. Star himself didn't realize how tensely he was standing until a snapping twig caught his attention and he was forced to turn and shift his stance. "Okay, well... you might want to sit down before you fall over." It was an odd command to give the stranger, since he'd otherwise being chasing them out of his terra, or at the very least, demanding some submission. He dared to take his eyes off her long enough to look for his mother through the birch trees. "Over here, Mom!" Slow and limping stiffly, Cortinarri was much slower to arrive on the scene than her son and granddaughter had been. It also took her eyes longer to register the snowy fae that Starscream was standing tensely in front of. As she drew near, he spoke to her, "She's making no sense, and she hasn't given me a name yet. She doesn't smell rabid, but... she's clearly not right in the head, and I don't kno-" "Liseli?" Cortinarri interrupted her son with a gasp, and moved past his defensive posture to approach the other wolf without apprehension. "What's happened to you?"

Liseli

"Sit. Sit, sit, sit." A repetition, and then a singsong, the white head tilted back and forth in rhythm, like a child would do, and then the face turned serious. "Yes, I... I do still remember how to do that." She nodded, to herself or to Starscream, it wasn't certain - and stretched out on her belly, closing her eyes again as though she had no fear of him; and truth be told, she probably did not. She fell silent past that, and didn't answer him anymore, unless the hefty sigh that left her as she lay down could be counted as such. It was in this manner that Cortinarri would find her, completely lax and all but asleep, to the point where the older female's stunned question made her eyes pop open as though she'd been suddenly awakened from a dream, even though she'd been down only a few seconds. "Liseli..." She frowned intently, not meeting the other's eyes and not deliberately looking away, either - she was thinking hard again. Liseli, Liseli... hmmm, I know her, don't I? No, dear. You do not know her. And where a moment ago, that stern voice would have gotten her submission and obedience, she shook her head slowly, and spoke up more determinedly, not realizing she was speaking aloud. "I do so know a Liseli. I do, I do. I... just can't remember. Were..." She shook her head again, glanced up at Cortinarri. "Are you Liseli?" She asked, her tone curious like a child's, but she almost immediately decided against that, and the frown creased her features more. "No, no... not Liseli. Nope... no you're somebody else. Right? Someone familiar though. Oh, don't tell me, don't tell me! I know... just..." You're rambling. Shut up. You don't know. You don't want to. Liseli is a fiend and a fraud. You don't know her. "I do!" Her tone got fierce, with a bit of growl in it now, directed at an empty patch of ground a few feet from her - but in that moment, she lost her train of thought, and the eyes that looked up at Cortinarri were as vacant as before. "You look like a nice... friendly sort of wolf. Kind, gentle... what do you want... with Liseli?"

Starscream & Cortinarri

Slinking up behind the group with all the deftness of a mouse, Darling took up a safe position behind her father and peered past him to observe the stranger that her grandmother seemed to recognize. Starscream wasn't fond of the idea of his ailing mother approaching such a mentally unstable stranger, but he'd never been able to talk Cortinarri out of anything that he disagreed on - she was as strong-willed as they came, and if she wanted to try and talk sense into this other fae, he couldn't do much to stop her. So while he watched on guardedly, Cortinarri sat down before Liseli with a much softer expression on her grayed muzzle, "You are Liseli. You know that." The elderly wolf said encouragingly to the former beta. She hid the sorrow she felt at seeing what had become of the wolf, and worked to reach past Liseli's delusion and pull forth her sensible side. "And you know me, Cortinarri. You were part of my pack not so many years ago." Her old eyes searched the green ones of Liseli, hoping to find any spark of recollection hidden in them. "When is the last time you've had a proper meal and drink? A rest, even?" Still watching intently and following the conversation, Starscream coaxed his muscles into relaxing a little. This stranger was a former beta of the pack? Clearly, something major had happened to her, for he could not imagine an attitude like the one she was exhibiting now would have earned her such a high position in the Aspen Grove.

Liseli

"Liseli is a fiend and a fraud." That was the pat answer, fed to her so many times by that wheedling little voice in her mind, and she said it now with vehemence and certainty; she believed it to be gospel truth, one of the only things that she sounded sure of. "More worthy to be spat upon than valued. She was-" She stopped suddenly, sighing and raising her head as though it was nearly too heavy for her to lift, fixing her eyes on the elderly female and trying... trying so hard to remember. Anything. "Cor... Cortinarri." A whisper, a frown, a sigh as she tried to concentrate, to focus and make her mind produce the answers. You don't know, you don't know, youdon'tknow, you don- "STOP!" The eyes clamped shut, and the voice in her mind died, silenced by Liseli's blind determination. For several moments after that outburst, she lay panting and silent, eyes still squinched shut... and then finally spoke up again, softer. "It's so... hard to hear. To think. Too many voices..." She sounded almost tearful, and when her eyes opened, she looked it, too. "Corinarri. My alphess... mate of my... my best friend." She choked that off, throat thick with the tears and memories that wouldn't come, and again shook her head to the next question. "Meal? Last... no two weeks past. Water... three days? Rest? Rest, I... I can't remember."

Starscream & Cortinarri

Cortinarri remained very calm throughout Liseli's struggles, even though past her aged, patient facade, she was bewildered by how Liseli was acting and deeply concerned for her former packmate. Starscream didn't do anything to hide how alarmed he was by this wolf's behavior however and wore his confusion and wariness right out on his long-muzzled face. All three of them, Darling and Cortinarri included, gave a jump when Liseli yelled out 'STOP!', and all the fur along Scream's back bristled up. Cortinarri inhaled a deep breath to calm her racing heart and blinked her amber eyes to clear the surprise that rose in them. By the time Liseli herself had recovered and and spoke, the elderly wolf was looking as assured and confident as before. She retained that guise when her late mate was mentioned, and went on to stretch her muzzle forward and touch it comfortingly to Liseli's, "Easy Liseli, let your mind rest. There's a stream right over here for you to get a drink from. Dar, see if you can find a cache of food." Off Darling went again, this time to check their various food caches and see if there was anything left that she could bring to Liseli. "Star, help me-" Cortinarri motioned for her son to get on the other side of Liseli, so that he could help support her. "Can you stand?"

Liseli

Silence. Blessed silence. Something that hadn't been present in her mind in a long, long while. Always before, for a couple of years now, the voice was there, driving her on constantly, to the point where she hadn't eaten, or slept, or anything else needful, because the voice would give her no peace. It wasn't gone - no, no she could feel it implanted deep at the back of her brain, silent and waiting for its next opportunity to break loose and terrorize her. But her mind was quiet for a moment, and it was as much a blessing as she could ask for, now. Her head lowered to Cortinarri's light touch, a submission that was instinct more than choice, now that she'd recalled just who this wolfess was. How long that knowledge would last, it couldn't be said - but it was made clear at last that Starscream need fear no deliberate harm to his mother from Liseli. Her words were quieter, more temperate, but still not entirely sane sounding. "No, no... the mind can't rest. If the mind rests, she'll come back again. I- I've never managed to make her be quiet, before. She creeps... creeps into the idle little thoughts that you think are safe. That's how she gets hold of you - and once she has that, you are lost." She'd recovered her composure some, now sounding neutral, but above all very, very tired. "If I can just-" The prompting to stand got an obedient response, which was answered by an effort to gather her legs beneath her again, even though they protested taking even her diminished weight. She shrugged off the weariness and heaviness in them, forcing them to hold when they tried once to collapse beneath her. It was a good thing that they were going to help her though, because even with all her willpower, she was very much weak - and besides, she couldn't steer.

Starscream & Cortinarri

Starscream passed a questioning look to his mother, trying to silently convey his leeriness of this female and her odd behavior, only to be bluntly ignored by the aged wolfess. In the end he obeyed without any further hesitation and stepped up beside Liseli's side, so that she could lean against him if need be, and let him guide her to the water. Cortinarri brandished a small smile, seeing through Liseli's troubled behaviors where her son was having issues with it, "Who is it in your mind?" She also spoke on it as if it were a normal occurrence, and nothing to be terribly worried about, in order to try and figure out what was plaguing Liseli's mind. Cortinarri rose up along with her packmate, preparing to help hold her steady as well, though Cortinarri was no longer in any shape to offer a great amount of physical support. "It's not far off, only a few yards down past this gully over here." The stream she spoke of was thankfully not that far off, though it would take some ice-breaking to open up a patch of water for the exhausted fae to drink from.

Liseli

Even as delusional as she appeared, Liseli apparently understood that Cortinarri was not a young wolf anymore, because she didn't put her weight against the other female at all. Instead, she allowed the aging female to be the rudder and gave most of her weight over to Starscream, not that there was much to bear, anyway. But it accomplished the purpose: her steps were steadier as they moved, and she stumbled less, which probably made it a little easier for him to accommodate her weight without risk of being knocked over himself, since it was more steady against him. "Shhh.... no, no. Don't tell." She shook her head briefly, answering Cortinarri and stumbling a little as her mind tried to focus on something other than just putting one paw in front of the other. "Names have a power, alphess. To have a name is to have power, and whenever someone speaks it, it gives power. Those with names have power over those without names. The power to name them... and thus control their destinies. No, I cannot tell you... her name." For a moment there, her words were fevered, coming out in a quick, steady stream - until finally they slowed again, indicating that the fervor had left her once more. The encouragement from Cortinarri got her attention however, and she smiled faintly. "I remember... the stream. The pups used to... play there, in warm weather. Kimama would get all muddy, the worst of all, and come scrambling back... he always defended her." It was a warm, genuine thought - the pup would tuck under Vestige, knowing that her mother hated to clean mud off, and the alphen would smile tolerantly, almost mischievously at Kimama. Yes, Kimama had always been special to him. And of course, Liseli would forgive her, and eventually be aroused to joking and mischief herself. She had never really been angry, anyway - and Vestige's love for a daughter that was not his own, not even his mate's but the child of his friend, had always dissolved any scolding that the female could come up with.

Starscream & Cortinarri

Feelings about Liseli's mental state aside, Starscream was easing into the situation with more ease as his mother took charge of speaking to the female and guiding the interaction. He stuck to his end of the job, moving with slow, sturdy steps that were placed carefully so that he could always exert the right amount of balance and force to brace Liseli. Cortinarri kept right up with her gentle questioning and light tone of voice to portray the kindlier side of her that only her packmates and friends every got to see, "Alphess? I'm afraid I no longer keep that title Liseli. It belongs to my daughter Sylar." She couldn't be sure, but the mother suspected she heard an under-breath grumble from Starscream. "This is someone you don't want to give power to? Then we won't speak of her again." She was winging it, trying to step delicately around whatever infringement in Liseli's mind that had led the wolfess to speaking and acting so oddly. "This place has many memories..." The stream was soon in view, and a few steps further brought the trio to its shallow edges. "...and it's good to have you back with us, after all these years." She stopped near the bank with images of her own flashing through her mind, of all the times she'd come here to relax, and all the wolves in her past that she'd interacted with here. The smile she carried softened some, "Go ahead Liseli, get yourself a drink. Darling should be back soon with food." Starscream had moved forward after the group stopped and used his forepaws to bash against the thinning ice until he'd opened up a patch big enough for them all to drink from.

Liseli

"Oh?" The fae hadn't been looking at either of them, eyes on her paws in an old habit to keep from tripping as much, and maybe just to avoid the implied emotional intimacy with another being. But she looked up now, when Cortinarri denied being lead of these lands any longer, and caught her eyes, holding them for only a moment - not a challenge, but a moment of connectedness to the world outside her mind. "Apologies... I have... been gone far too long. I... had forgotten how to... get back." By now, they'd reached the water, and a faint, warm smile curled onto the alabaster face, whether for the anticipation of finally getting something to drink, or for memories connected, it was unsure. The moment Star drew away, she lay down again, though at the edge of the water so that once he had broken the ice away, she didn't have to rise again in order to drink. And for near a minute, she lapped thirstily, surprised herself at how cool and pleasant it felt going down her throat to rest in her belly, and how she couldn't draw away, even though she didn't remember being thirsty before. It wasn't until a long silence had passed, and her gullet was full to bursting of the cold water, that she again tried for her voice. It sounded better now - less dry and cracked, more like the voice that Cortinarri would remember, if not for that tiny note of something not-quite-right there at the back of it. "I still see them, sometimes. Memory or vision, I don't know anymore. Just pieces... a laugh here, a patch of fur, a certain thing said. Before the war, after the peace. Summer, fall... they run together now. Making one or the other hold still long enough to- it's not possible, anymore." She sighed, and drew back from the river, resting her head wearily on her paws. "Time is broken, Cortinarri. I have to fix it."

Starscream & Cortinarri

Starscream stood nearby to watch over the two, taking up the role of guardian without having to be asked or told. Not that their pack had seen any real violence since he and his siblings had been born, unless the spats between he and Nachi could be counted. Cortinarri moved with Liseli towards the water and crouched down next to her to lap up the cool liquid. Once she was satisfied, she sat down beside the former beta and listened to words spoken on a tongue that was more familiar, and in a manner that was a little closer to something sane. "Many things had happened in your time here. War, conflict, death..." Cortinarri's quiet voice was listened to with silent interest by Starscream, who'd never really heard much about his mother's past. Slowly, he was finding himself more intrigued by the talk, and more interested in this link to the past that Liseli was. "Give it time Liseli, and things will sort themselves out in your mind. It will help that you are back in your home, where things are familiar to you." The old wolfess still looked regal in her old age, sitting resting in a proud, dignified pose. "Much time has passed since you were here last - there's a lot of catching up to do."

Liseli

A sigh shook her, and the ghosts faded a little more, back toward oblivion where they belonged. "Aye, a helping too heavy of those three, in my days here. There were happy days... far too few." She whined, and propped herself up enough to get another drink before reclining again, leaning over just a little til her fur mingled with Cortinarri's, enjoying the warmth of another body beside her own, when for so long she'd been alone. "Yes, familiar surroundings... here I was born, and I here... here, I died." Neither was true, of course - Liseli had been born outside the valley, had come here when she was barely a yearling herself... and of course, she was not dead. Not quite. But there were more births and deaths in the world than just the physical - it was something Liseli understood all too well. A whine sounded, marking a shift of the body to a more comfortable position. "And here... here I'll die again, if fortune favors the foolish. And then... the ghosts can go."

Starscream & Cortinarri

"You know..." She started with a warmer smile that was meant to combat the whine and the recollection of painful memories that Liseli was recalling, "Things have been much quieter of late. The Lurkers keep to themselves, and the Haunters to their own. The Valley has seen more peace in the last two years than I've ever seen." Though things weren't all peaches and cream, it was true what she said. Cortinarri herself hadn't seen any battles in some time, and she hoped that these kind of days would last. "You mean to stay?" Cortiniarri ignored the look that Starscream was passing to her, with an expression that said 'what's wrong with this wolf?', and waded through the troubling words as if Liseli was speaking perfectly normal. "There is still a position open to you for beta, if you would take it." Now she really got a look from her son, who she knew would give her a flash of fangs if she dared look up at him. To his ire, she continued to ignore him.

Liseli

"Really...?" There was an airy sound that might have been a laugh, in happier days or a stronger Liseli. "I hadn't noticed." That was sarcasm of course - the valley had been more peaceful in past years. Perhaps the various packs had finally tired of the bloodshed, to coming home to widows and orphans and the wails in the night when one did not return. But Liseli's mind was too far gone to have taken note of these things. She huffed quietly, a curious noise that sounded almost wistful, and went on, "You and I are old, Cortinarri. You more than I... but we both remember those days. The widows' screams as they search the battlefields - despair at finding what they sought. We're of an older school... they don't make wolves like us, anymore. And maybe... maybe it's better, that way." Tears, so many of them - caught in her throat, sticking and unable to escape - destroying her voice. At last, she shook her head. "No, Cortinarri. Your pack does not want a... a crazy old wolf like me. Not in that position of power. It was not mine to begin with - it was hers. I... I've already failed this pack as beta, once."

Starscream & Cortinarri

One of Star's ears was angled towards the two females, and the other swiveled back with the turn of his head to account for Darling sauntering their way. He could recognize his daughter from a distance by the two tan patches above each eye, and also the almost stalking, halting way she'd move. Swinging between her jaws, he recognized the hindlimb of a lamb he'd brought back to the pack a few days earlier after catching the farm wondering far from the pasture it had escaped from. His stomach rumbled a little seeing it, but he wasn't going to ask for a share of the meat when Liseli was obviously in need of it, and past her, he'd always let his aging mother have her share first. "In our corner of the Valley is quiet anyway." Cortinarri hadn't noticed her granddaughter approaching yet, and so she continued with the conversation uninterrupted. She raised an eye in a mockingly reproachful look at Liseli on the age comment, without being offended by it an any way, and before she could say anything about it, the former beta turned to less cheerful words. "We've got enough crazy around here to make you look sane enough." She murmured, and for it, Starscream shot her a deadly glare that she also chose to ignore. He knew who his mother was referring to. "I suppose it is not my place to offer positions in the pack. It's up to the individual.. but that's neither here nor there. And for the record, you did a fine job as beta while you were here. Ahh... here we are." She'd now taken notice of her granddaughter and motioned for Darling to come forward with the lamb haunch, which she did. "Eat as much as you'd like. Lamb, courtesy of the two-leggers."

Liseli

Her nose twitched faintly, wrinkling that swath of black fur that zigzagged over her muzzle; she didn't seem aware of the smell of the lamb that Darling had brought, but her nose reacted anyway. Something was very detached in her brain, and this showed it. Without that ability for her nose to tell her brain that there was food nearby, the wolfess remained where she lay, listening to Cortinarri and trying to make her mind understand. "I remember it differently... I stood by and watched. Watched, while-" Another sentence choked off, ended before it started. In fact, she hadn't been 'standing by and watching' when Vestige was killed - she'd been saving Cortinarri herself, taking on a mountain cat that had taken advantage of the chaos to pin her down and try to end her life as well. But either Liseli didn't recall that now, or she didn't see it as having done a 'fine job'... even though saving the life of Cortinarri had been the last thing Vestige had ever asked of her. "Whatever you may say... on that day, I failed this pack as a beta, and I failed Vestige as a friend. That's something for which I can never forgive myself. And until I can... until I can, no one's allowed." In all that, with the despair coming up to choke her, she didn't notice that Darling had placed the lamb before her; it took a moment before her eyes opened again, and landed on the food. She eyed it carefully, as though she weren't certain whether it would bite back or not... but finally set in, taking slow, small bites. Unlike the sudden thirst that had come over her, hunger didn't arrive with her first taste of the meat. Rather the opposite, nausea set in, and she managed only a few bites before she had to stop and close her eyes, to fight her stomach into submission. It had simply been too long since she'd eaten on a regular basis, and she didn't think she could hold down any more.

Starscream & Cortinarri

At this point in the conversation, Starscream began to listen in more intently again, whilst trying to look as disinterested in possible by looking blankly around at the scenery of trees and snow blanketed ground. Only the way his ear was glued in their direction showed how interested in what they were saying, even if he didn't know at first what event they were talking about - Cortinarri ahd never spoken in any detail of their father's death. Cortinarri was even confused at first, not immediately aware of what Liseli was referring to until she finished speaking. The old wolf lifted her head and felt the smile slip away from her ragged muzzle without her permission. "We were overwhelmed, and there was nothing any of us could have done to change the outcome of that fight." Now, Darling was listening in too. She was a very smart young wolf, and knew far more than her father gave her credit for, but never had she dared to ask what happened to her grandfather. Of course, she didn't know they were talking about him, but it was obviously a big event they were detailing, and she was ready to soak up all the details. "I would be dead if not for you. Starscream, Darling, they would not be here - none of us would." She looked hard at Liseli, "You saved his unborn children, and I can't think of a more honorable thing for a friend to have done."

Liseli

The white female snorted bitterly. "Well... maybe there should have been. There should have been something I could do. I've racked my mind, trying to think... one day, I'll know. And then you'll understand why." Survivor's guilt - a common problem, with anyone who watched someone precious to them die. Most talked it out with their friends and loved ones, and though they never completely got over it, they moved on with their lives, still seeing happiness and peace. Liseli's life had come to a screeching halt, right that second when the life had faded from her friend. And with her mind wandering and her memory sketchy, she hadn't ever picked up and moved on; her brain had stayed in that moment, like a car locked in neutral. She'd stopped eating now, the portion of food she'd consumed insignificant, but she no longer found it appetizing; she was struggling to keep what little she'd eaten down. To help in that matter, she focused on what Cortinarri had to say - and her eyes flashed open, when the other two present wolves were mentioned. "Starscream...? Darling?" She turned then, her gaze meeting the male's as though she'd never seen him before, and was just realizing that he was nearby. She studied him intently, and taking off on a completely different topic, asked, "Your son?"

Starscream & Cortinarri

Cortinarri's eyes became hard in the way of a wolf who was very serious about what she was saying. She was not alpha any more, but suddenly, her voice and expression, and very attitude seemed to come from nothing less than a dominant individual, "Liseli, listen to me." She was still soft in her commanding tone however, "You can't waste your time looking back and fretting over things you can't change. It's done and over, and there was nothing you or I or anyone else could have done. Vestige wouldn't want his friend stressing herself sick over it, and you know that." The wolfess kept her solid stare focused on the other wolf, not trying to be intimidating as she often came across, but trying to send the message home. Starscream was dead silent this whole time, now actively looking at the pair instead of trying to pretend like he was interested. Cortinarri's expression lightened and she nodded, "Yes. And my daughter Sylar is the alphess of the pack now. There are two others, Isias and Valian, who live elsewhere, and a number of grandchildren. And that's thanks to you."

Liseli

Authority - now that was something that even Liseli's frazzled mind still responded to. It was hardwired into the brain of any wolf; either you were the authority, or you obeyed the authority. Or you died trying to become the authority. Liseli had never striven to be in authority, being rather one of those wolves who bore it well when it was given to her, but who did not feel the need to have it, and would be just as content taking orders from others. And particularly now, with her memories faded and out of order, and the ever-thundering voice in her mind that controlled all her doings, she listened to the iron tones in Cortinarri's voice, and responded obediently with a nod. But it was the answer she provided that suggested that it had gotten a little deeper into her psyche than just mindless obedience. "Aye... now that's truth, there. Vestige... he was too kind to hold a grudge to an offense not intended, too gentle to hurt when no one was threatened. Probably give me a good cuff and tell me to stop being foolish, if he were here. Tell me it's good that he is where he is... so somebody can look after Kimama til I get there. Yes, that sounds like him." She nodded, a slow, deliberate motion, and sighed, going silent for a long while; judging from the far off look on her features, she was probably strolling memory lane, in mind or hallucination, it wasn't certain. At last though, she heaved herself up with a grunt, and offered Cortinarri a smile. "Well. Well, well. It's been good chatting, my old friend. Tell your little ones I said hello - I won't be of a bother to you any longer."

Starscream & Cortinarri

One thing was for sure; Cortinarri had always been the authority striving individual, and frequently got trounced over the years whenever she was usurped. Old age had not dampened her drives for power, though her sensibility kept her in line, lest she cause a fight that her weary body couldn't handle. "Now you're remembering things straight. We'll both meet him again someday, but until that time, we should focus on who's here with us now." Cortinarri's hard stare lost its edge, without looking away from Liseli. She was feeling better about the former beta, and seeing some signs of improvement on the wolf, but when Liseli declared she was leaving, Cortinarri sat up straighter, "You're leaving so soon? it's none of my business to tell you where to go, but... you're in no condition to be traveling." Starscream also seemed surprised by her announcement, though he remained at the sidelines still. He was very interested in talking to Liseli more and learn about what she knew; but not when his mother was around.

Liseli

Her smile was faint, her laugh hoarse... the life had receded back behind the veil of her eyes again. The voice hadn't come back, not yet... but ever so slowly, Liseli was moving away - and not just with her physical departure from closeness with Cortinarri. And her voice had that lost, cautious quality again, her face full of shadows. "I remember... many things about the past. About everyone else. It's... this Liseli person... that I'm not so sure about, anymore." She smiled, but it wasn't joyful, or even peaceful in nature - it was still faint and frightened, waiting for something to explode in her face, and it wavered here and there, but she kept it in place. "I may be in no shape to go, my old friend... I really don't know, but... but I'm certainly in no shape to stay. Recently, my days are full of shadows, my mind overcome with fog; much of the time, I don't know where I go, whither I do... I do not trust myself not to hurt any of you. I would never do it, in my own mind... but I must face the fact that my mind is not my own, anymore." Her smile turned sad, broke, and then faded away altogether, and her gaze fell away from the elderly female, and the whispers crept back in again. 'That's right... you're a dangerous creature now. Bloodthirsty, ruthless... mad. You're mad, Liseli. No hold even on your own mind. A waste of flesh.' And this time, she didn't try to deny it - because she truly had no proof to use against it. Instead, she bowed her head, and raised a paw, crossing it over the other as she took another step toward the trees. "If you'll... just remind me where... the border is, I'll... be on my way."

Starscream & Cortinarri

As soon as she started talking about, Cortinarri knew that the wolfess was slipping again. She stood up, bracing her weight carefully on all limbs but her hind left one, where Bullet had crippled it years ago in a fight. Whenever she was in a situation that demanded her authority, Cortinarri tried to put her best, strongest pose forward, and that meant hiding the minor handicap that the damaged limb represented. "You served this pack and have never brought us harm. I have no fear that you would do so now." Oh sure, she did fear that Liseli, in her altered state of mind, might be capable of attacking them, but in trying to convince the former beta otherwise, she couldn't let that show. "Liseli, you need to rest." Her concern for Liseli was growing, and she feared if she let the wolf leave, she wouldn't last much longer in her condition. For a second time, Cortinarri attempted to impose an alpha-like authority to coax obedience out of her friend, "There's a sheltered thicket right over here, where you can curl up. Give your body and mind some time to recoup, and we can talk about it afterwards."

Liseli

"Never intentionally." That correction was grim, and made to the approximate area of the mess of snow and dead leaves a few inches before her paws. She heaved a great sigh, her sides rising and falling in a painfully visible way, with no meat on them to cushion the movement of the bones. Are you sure of that? I'm not so certain. Were you- "Yes... I'm sure," she answered the voice, wearily as might a soldier who had no more strength to fight, and yet had the will to defy. Another step forward took her to a nearby tree, which she leaned heavily against, sucking all the air out of the wintery cold, almost dead on her feet. From her throat came a small burst of sound, half sigh and half howl, torn and strangely beautiful in its anguish, and softer than the whisper of night wind. "The trick is to resting is to sleep, once you lay down... I've all but forgotten that, now. It's something that escapes me, more often than not." She sighed, and hung her head in bitter defeat; much as she wanted to, she couldn't defy Cortinarri - the female wanted her to stay, and against her better judgment, Liseli was too tired to argue. "Alright... alright. I'll stay til morning. But swear to me that you'll keep your own - your Starscream, your grandchildren - swear to me you'll keep them away. So that if... if something does happen... I won't hurt them."

Starscream & Cortinarri

"You would never harm us." Cortinarri persisted, as if she could will the weary Liseli back into her right mind by being as sure and confident as she was in her statements. Even if... even if she was secretly questioning them herself. It didn't take much for her or Starscream to realize that it wasn't only them talking to her; clearly, there was another voice reaching the female, one that neither of them could hear. The mother and son finally did share glances to acknowledge they understood this, before Cortinarri went back to her friend, "Being back in your home might be just the thing you need to find restful sleep again. The familiar sounds and smells should help relax your mind." Wary as she was about Liseli's fear that she would harm them, Cortinarri couldn't imagine the ragged, physically exhausted wolf as being more than Starscream could handle, and that's why she looked to him again after Liseli complied to staying one night. 'Watch her.' The old wolf's expression said, and a clear look of 'Why me?!' was shot back. "My son will be near enough should you need anything. Fear not Liseli, you won't hurt him."

Liseli

Faintly, and without any real belief that Cortinarri spoke the truth about her faith that no one here would be harmed, Liseli nodded, too drained to object any more. "If you say so, my friend... I only hope that your faith is well-placed. Too much blood has already been spilled, in these lands." That said, she meandered slowly to the little thicket that had been indicated, her legs lifting slowly and only with great concentration on her part; her feet felt heavier than stones at the ends of them. Perhaps a rest would do her good, if only she could manage to find sleep. At long last, she reached the cover of the bit of brush and bush, and turned briefly back to look at Starscream. "As long as you are staying, then... would you talk to me? It's not important what you say. I just... need some sound to drown out... the other things." An odd request, perhaps - but it was the voice in her mind that would never shut up, and never allowed her to sleep, and if she hoped to find that blessed oblivion, she needed someone else's voice to drown out what was being said between her ears.

Starscream & Cortinarri

Cortinarri offered her friend a smile and a slight nod, and was pleased that Liseli continued to follow her guide. "I'll give you some hours to rest. By nightfall, I hope that you feel a little more yourself. You can meet the rest of the pack then." Cortinarri watched the other wolf move off towards the thicket after that, and as she reached it, the old fae also made sure that her son was being obedient and following after. And he was, too. Starscream trailed after Liseli and even sat down a few feet from her in the thicket, "My mom never told me much about this pack, before we were born, you know." He started off on that topic, speaking only once Cortinarri had taken up the lamb's leg and moved off with Darling to find out Sylar. "There's enough rumors going around... I know she was involved in a lot... but-" He thought of his father, a wolf he'd never gotten the chance to meet. "..I didn't know my father was murdered."

Liseli

Her mind was fogging over a little more, enough that she didn't seem to hear the old female's departing words. What she did do though, was lay down in the thicket as she'd promised, though she allowed her head to poke out a little so that Starscream could see her, and at least have the privilege of not having to speak to a bush. She heaved herself down with a grunt that revealed that the movement was likely less than comfortable, and then quieted slowly, her muzzle propped on her dainty paws with a kind of soft, unassuming grace that belied her ragged frame, bringing to the imagination a much sleeker, more graceful version of Liseli - back before Vestige's death, when she'd been a confident beta and a loving young mother, rather than the haunted thing that had come stumbling into the terra. Her eyes closed for a minute, but when the male spoke up, they flicked open again, and focused on him. "I cannot count myself fortunate or clever in many things in my life. I never was very large or tough, never good at commanding and getting what I wanted. People laughed at my small size, and the father of my pups deceived me, running away with some other fae. But I consider myself blessed to have counted your father as my closest, dearest friend, in my life." However wandering her mind might be, Liseli was sincere about that, and there was power and certainty in her eyes, where she was sure of almost nothing else. "He was gentle, and funny. Had an ill tendency to brood a little much about the ramifications of his own actions when they came out poorly, even if it hadn't been his fault. And he loved being a father... so much, my own pups looked to him as a father, though they were not his own. Kimama, particularly... yes, Kimama loved him dearly. His death... it killed her. To this day, I am convinced of that." Her frame shook, both from a little bit of cold and from suppressing the sobs that wanted to form. The dual loss of Vestige and Kimama had been the end of her world too... the difference was that she remained alive in body, if not in spirit.

Starscream

Starscream was still on the fence about this female. On one hand, her behavior and the hallucinations he thought she were having was a cause for concern with Star - was this female safe to be around? On the other side, she represented history about his parents and this pack that he never knew, and her previous status as beta meant that she had to have some outstanding qualities. Not to mention how much his mother seemed to think of her. "Oh...?" Starscream gave a muffled cough prior to his acknowledging comment, because he didn't know much about Liseli and couldn't say anything that he felt would make her feel better. He was also reminded of his own infidelities that meant he had more than just the three offspring that lived here in the Aspen grove, but he wasn't going to comment on that. "My sister Sylar... I guess you haven't met her yet, but she looks like him. Supposedly." Star scrubbed a paw over his muzzle, scratching at an itch that really wasn't there. He wasn't that great at this 'personal' stuff, at least not until he got to know an individual better. Truthfully, he was soaking up everything she said like a thirsty sponge, especially the parts about his father and his personality. "So you... you have some kids in the Valley?"

Liseli

The tired female didn't seem to notice that Starscream wasn't being openly welcoming or friendly; either she was choosing to ignore it, figuring that he had no reason to trust her aside from his mother's assurance, or more likely she just wasn't aware of it. As misaligned as her mind had become, who knew what she was really perceiving? Indeed, she kept speaking to him pleasantly enough, while staring past him as she delved into memories. "Does she now? That's not a bad thing... he wasn't hard on the eyes. Lot of people thought I had a think for him. Didn't quite get that he was my friend." She shook her head with a hoarse chuckle, knowing too well that the concept of a male and female being 'just friends', and best friends at that, was odd to many. "Besides, your mother's much better matched to him; I was too old for him, even then. Not in age mind you... I was born old, I think. Talking in wisdom and sagery. He had a light, playful side to him that always eluded me - maybe that's why we worked well together as alpha and beta." The smile softened, but didn't go away entirely; instead, she skipped over his last question, probably because her mind just couldn't hold onto many things at once, and took up a new line of words. "Sylar may look like him, but you've his mannerisms, some of his personality... that expression you get when you don't know whether you can trust someone. Yes, that look you've got on your face right now. That's your father, no mistake. Not that I blame you... I don't really trust me, either."

Starscream

The wolf's eyes went a little wide. He wasn't a gossipy fellow, not by a long shot, but it was fascinating to hear about these tidbits and facts from a time before he was born. He imagined his mother either wasn't one of those that that Liseli had a crush on her mate, or else was confident enough in her bond with him and her authority over the pack that she didn't see it as a threat. He was thinking the latter, since his mother was known for being... rather ruthless, at times. "He sounded like a good guy." Starscream let his voice go quieter, finally settling in a tone that complimented Liseli's quieter speaking. "My parents must have thought something of you too, to keep you as beta." It was an attempt by the brute to see if he could learn any about her personality, since he didn't trust her current display to be accurate. When she called out his similarities with his father, Starscream feigned mild intrigue, while in reality, he felt a swell of pride in his chest. "Oh yeah? Well..." Immediately after that, he had to explain his current expression, now that he realized she'd caught onto it. "It's not that I don't trust you... I just.. don't know you."

Liseli

She sighed, and reached quickly with a hind paw to scratch behind her ears, to rid herself of a pest there. Fleas weren't the gravest problem she had, but it certainly wouldn't help with any effort on the pack's part to build her strength up and bring her mind back to order. "He was," she confirmed, letting her hind rest against the loam again, and letting out with a sigh. "He had a few flaws, I grant you. A bit of melancholy that would flare up now and then - particularly after his first mate was killed. She was Sauda's dear friend, and a gentler soul never walked the earth. She wasn't as confident as your mother though. And, perhaps, he was sometimes a little quick to anger... but he was a good alphen to us, and a good friend to me. It is a shame you never knew him, for I know he would have been a good father." She fell silent then, studying his face for who knew what... maybe she was looking for even a little bit of her friend in that fact, even though he'd already said it was Sylar who looked like Vestige. But his cautious response made her laugh, the first truly joyful sound she made that didn't sound like she was forcing it out. "And ever so careful in your words... that's him, too. There's no shame in it, now. You don't know me, and I'm not quite the wolf I used to be, anyway. Not to trust me is a very wise thing on your part."

Starscream

He was trying to build an accurate picture in his head of the father he'd never known, by borrowing Sylar's looks and trying to envision the personality traits that Liseli was giving. It wasn't working that great, but at least he was secretly proud to know he did harbor some of Vestige's likeness. "So he had another mate?" Starscream displayed a little more manners now by speaking quieter still. He knew his mom had as well, and that he had an older sister who had died long before he came around, but such things were never talked about, especially not around Cortinarri. "Quick to anger, huh? You can pin that trait on my brother." He sneered a little, not that he disliked Valian, but... his brother had a much darker, insidious side to him that made Starscream uneasy around the dark-coated brute. Back ot Liseli, Star wrinkled the side of his nose briefly, "To your credit, it sounds like you've done a lot of good for this pack. You know my mom never talked about things that happened before we were born... I never knew you, for one. Or that you apparently saved our lives?" And because of that, he had no clue that his current 'mate' was the sister of the brute who'd killed his father.

Liseli

The white head nodded. "Yes, early on, before my days as beta here. In fact, she died shortly after I came.. he was crushed, poor soul." Oddly detached from that, even though it had echoed deeply in her at the time, as she was already grieving for her sister, the female sighed, and smiled a little as she continued, "Cortinarri... she brought life back to him, again. He'd been... so quiet, so lifeless..." At this moment, she either didn't recall or was too aware to mention that, shortly after Lady had died, she'd had to talk Vestige down from a cliff. That bit of melancholy in him she'd mentioned before had risen up with suffocating strength, when his mate had been killed. Thankfully enough, she didn't mention it, and instead turned the more positive thought of his courtship of Cortinarri, the greater part of which she'd been witness to, as the two grew closer. His claim that she'd saved him though - that broke her concentration on that. "You give me too much credit, my friend," she murmured, using 'my friend' as an attempt to seem harmless, or perhaps more likely because she couldn't remember Starscream's name, at the moment. "The last thing your father ever said to me was to ask me to protect your mother, who'd been attacked by a mountain lion in the wake of things... I only did as he asked of me. Call it the honoring of a last request." Darkness trailed in at the back of her eyes, recalling keenly that terrible moment when she'd stood frozen between the sudden attack on Vestige and the equally unexpected leap of the cat onto his mate, that split second where her heart had screamed, knowing she couldn't save them both. She'd done what she had to, and obeyed... but there were many times she'd lived that again, over and over... and wondered whether she'd done right. Even seeing Cortinarri old and gray, with children and grandchildren to carry on Vestige's line, didn't quite close that gap and assure her that she'd done all she could do.

Starscream & Cortinarri

He had it in mind to ask whether his father had any other offspring with his previous mate, but in the end, figured he shouldn't be asking too many probing questions so soon. He'd only met this wolf less than an hour ago, after all, and she wasn't exactly in the best shape of mind as it was. "Isias can be like that sometimes. Not really down and out, but... quiet, I guess?" He was trying to associate the different personality traits where he thought he saw them in his siblings, even if it was a little hit or miss, as it was with Valian. His brother's attitude bore little in connection with his sire, while Isias was a quieter wolf, but not in the way of a brooding or depressed one. "I don't think so, Liseli. I'm happy to be alive, that's no small thing to triumph about. Besides, it sounds like if you'd went to my father's defense first, my mom surely would have died. He would have lost a mate again, and all his children with her." He was trying a little more now to be helpful, though his tones were nowhere near the soft, assuring ones that Cortinarri had used. "I can safely say that I appreciate your actions."

Liseli

"No, no... it's not quiet that I'm thinking of. He wasn't quiet." Liseli sounded sure of that, and yet seemed to have trouble coming up with an accurate word for her friend, in order to describe him to a son that had never known him. Vestige was many things, but shy and quiet just weren't features of him. If anything, he was social, and enjoyed being around others and making them happy. No, he was more... "Burdened, maybe. It's the closest I can get. Not that he was unhappy, mind you, just... he had many things to deal with, and was always secretly fearful that something would come out badly. Afraid that he'd fail the pack, somehow. That someone would get hurt due to some inaction of his. We never did... but I know it always bothered him. He wanted to do right by everyone around him." That was the very best she could do in trying to put it into words, and then she turned her head to the side, whispering to the blank space beside her. The words wouldn't reach Starscream, but it was just another warning that his voice wasn't the only one she heard. What he would be able to pick up on was how her face fell into anguish for a few moments before she seemed to pick up what was left of her pride and move on with her conversation with him. "At least someone gives me a vote of confidence," she answered him finally, offering the tiniest edge of a smile. "I wish I could join you in that, but I fear that my vote would have little impact on the matter. Not to mention that I couldn't honestly add it. I know I meant well... but I still wonder. Until I figure that out, anyone's faith in that means very little, unfortunately." She yawned heartily now, proving that the conversation was doing its trick though - the voice in her mind was pestering her less and less, and she was beginning to relax, uncoiling a little in the thicket and her eyelids beginning to travel south.

Starscream

Starscream hurriedly erased and refitted the image in his mind, fashioning his view of Vestige as a more blended mix between his two sisters, and maybe a few bits of himself thrown in? "I was alpha for a while, before settling back here." He started in, sounding off track for a second before he tied it back in with the subject at hand, "There's a lot of burden to deal with, I could understand him being weight down by it. Just keeping the pack together and in line is a challenge." In that sense, he viewed himself similar to Vestige, and vastly separated - Starscream hadn't been able to cope with it all before he fled back to his parent's terra. Of course, the pressure that Nachi put on him by attempted to steal one of his nieces didn't help, nor did the way he was sure she attempted to kill Darling on more than one occasion. Having a stable mate was surely an important factor, but Star wasn't going to mention his problems to a wolf he barely knew. "Uh...." He noted how she started whispering to no one in particular, and he went awkwardly silent after attempting to say something else. When he started up again, he sounded a little distracted, "Like my mother said, I think you just need some rest. If she thinks so highly of you, there's no doubt the rest of the pack will."

Liseli

"Oh, he bore it well enough... didn't ever let anybody see it. Well..." That wasn't quite true of course. She had seen it - seen it frequently. Maybe because she was his beta, maybe because she was his friend. "Used to call me... the Philosopher." She offered an airy laugh, and shrugged, writing off any purported wisdom on her part that might have earned her the title. "He never needed me to run the pack. He did that just fine on his own. But every once in a while, he needed somebody to tell him he was doing a good job, in a way that didn't sound like they were taking pity on him, or just trying to make him happy. That's why they kept me, even after she died... I know how to use empty words to encourage the lions of the world." That was bitter, and wandering a little more - and finally, she shook her head again, offering Starscream a very quiet smile. "Perhaps you're right, my friend... they get louder, when I am tired. I really should..." She offered another large yawn, her tongue curling, and lay her head down again, eyes beginning to drift closed. "Just... keep talking, please. It... helps... chase them away."

Starscream

"Betas aren't kept around for ego support." Starscream pointed out in mildly toned defense of his father, and to refute the idea that Liseli's role in the pack had little purpose but to encourage the alphas. He had no grounds to confirm or deny her more bitter comments, except for the way he'd listened to the former beta shrug off any and all compliments that were given to her. "Sounds to me like you must have had good advice for them." Starscream let his head lower too, resting the end of it against one of his forelegs. He was watching her more intently now, his eyes clearly studying her in a questioning way. His muzzle twitched briefly in a returned smile, but it was quick and disappeared almost as soon as it had popped up. Where his mother had avoided broaching it, Starscream finally came right out and asked, "You hear voices in your head, don't you?"

Liseli

She wasn't going to debate the point with him; Liseli was a modest individual anyway, prone to playing down any beneficial role she'd served in, and nowadays, she couldn't remember half of what she'd done, anyway. Only some of her memories were intact, anything connected to Vestige remarkably among those, perhaps because he had been such a good friend to her. So she was prepared to let it slide for now, and not argue over the point of whether she'd been helpful or not. In fact, she looked like she might actually find sleep, there for a moment - and then a single green eye flicked open, landed on Starscream with perhaps a little more sternness than was intended. She studied him for a long moment with that eye, as if considering whether she should answer... but finally she sighed. "Not voices... voice. One voice. But yes... she speaks to me..."

Starscream

Perhaps too much time spent around Nachi had led the wolf to being particularly stubborn around his points, but he saw when he'd overstepped his bounds and promptly went quiet on the subject after that. He let his muzzle incline further until most of it was resting across the length of his forepaws, not because he was getting sleepy himself, but because he was trying to get comfortable and portray a more relaxed attitude around Liseli after he'd been so uncertain around her up to this point. "Just one then? She must not be a pleasant voice, if you want me to talk over her." If he saw the look she gave him, Starscream didn't acknolwedge it, either through a lack of personal etiquette, or because his curiosity was greater than his sense of tact right now.

Liseli

The silence that fell upon Starscream made the female regret the sharpness of her gaze, thinking to herself that it was well within the male's right to be curious. After all, she'd entered the lands uninvited, and was staying here only on Cortinarri's word that she wouldn't hurt anyone... a word which Liseli didn't really believe herself. She sighed again, and shifted position til she was reclined more on her side. "Not unpleasant. No, she's not mean, just... I can't get her to shut up, sometimes." A faint smile, another yawn... and that was it. The eyes closed, and anything else he said would go unanswered.