Dawn

Dawn came here almost uncertain and anxious. Could she really do this? She shook her head causing her mane to shake and fall to one side. Her eyes were sad as she stared around her. Would Autograph even visit her here, while she slept. She didn't even immedietly try to go to sleep for fear of rejection. Instead she layed as if to think. She felt so horrible these days. What would Autograph say when he found out that she was raped....She couldn't even believe it herself. Such a strong fighter like herself couldn't fight off one male. It made her sick, and almost want to kill the foal. Instead for some reason she kept the little filly alive, don't ask her why. With all these emotions in her she finally did fall asleep though. But not without a tear that fell on the ground from her face. Autograph, are you there she seemed to call from her mind timidly like a frightened foal.

.Autograph.

Like the wolf weaved itself around the bracken on the forest, Autograph emerged through the clouds of Dawn's dreams. His white-and-chestnut patched shoulders rolled with the most prime of the stallion's youth. His blue eyes were alight in a indigo flame that had left him long ago back on the living earth. Autograph lifted his broad, refined head and stared at the lying body of his former mate. Releasing a soft sigh, Autograph gazed yearningly at her sorry, bony state. Finally, he moved forward. His hooves touched water, but no ripple was emitted. Autograph leaned, trying to touch her. He was but a mere spirit and it was impossible that she felt him. But, she could sense him. I am here, Autograph spoke in his baritone voice, wishing he could wrap his neck with hers once more. But, no, two barriers of the world set them apart.

Dawn

I see you with my eyes
I hear your voice in my ears
My heart feels your touch
I just wanna be with your forever
My heart aches for you, my dear
I miss you like your my other half...

She heard his voice, but she didn't immedietly respond. She thought it was some kind of trick, a cruel one at that. It would hurt her to believe he was there, when he really wasn't. Within a matter of seconds though she did look, for she couldn't resist not to look. With that one look her eyes poured out tears as a sob racked her body. He looked so real, as if she could touch him. She longed for his touch, like a itch longs to be scratched. So in that moment she got as close to him as she could not wanting to ever be seperated from him again.

"Now I'm never gonna want to wake...There's so much I have to say. I'm sorry I wasn't there to say good bye. That I was so weak to you when you were alive. I'm sorry I'm so weak that a male could breed to me, when I didn't want him too. So, so, sorry that I've turned into a monster that wants to fight all of my obstacles. I'm just so sorry that I can't be with you now. GOD, I was dead so I can be with you,"she said all of this in a soft voice, but yet was so firm you might believe she wasn't crying when she said it. Her sobs didn't even effect her voice. It tore her inside and out that she was such a failure. That she didn't even have the strength to kill herself to be with him. She even almost commited suicide once or twice, but Jasmine and Seabreeze had always stopped her. She wondered if her mate had seen those times.

Please be with me now
Till I'm able to join you here
I promise it won't take me too long
I swear I'll be with you soon
So till now this will have to do
I'm sorry we can't touch, it hurts...

.Autograph.

Autograph's eyes were mournful as his mate spoke of her yearn to hara-kiri. The Paint raised his head, long tassles cascading down his neck and falling limp against his shoulders. The horse had been restored to his youth, but his mind had never forgotten the agony of beng taken away. When his dead sister had come to him, the two galloping to the stars. Autograph had felt hard remorse for leaving the mortal world, especially since he could only watch Dawn through a glass surface; his eyes.

"Do not be afraid, my love. Although I am not physical with you, I remain as a part of you in your heart," Autograph rumbled, flexing his shoulder and peering into the mystical landscape of the basin. "Have you forgotten me in your heart, or have you let sorrow only nag at you. Telling you that life isn't worth it. Listen, Dawn, life is worth it. Although you have lost something so dearly to your heart, you must still live life to every extreme possible. When you run, I will be there. When you sleep, I will be there. As long as you believe, my spirit will always be there. But you must open your heart to do so. A closed heart because of mourning does not conquer the sorrow and therefore, my spirit is concealed once more."

Dawn

Fight, fight that's all I can do
To get my memory away from you
And even than darling, it don't work
Not all the way, that is
It hurts too much to remember
Although I can't ever forget you
Not all the way, my dear...

Dawn watched as his own face turned said. She felt horrible as he began to speak. Than all of that went to away to replaced by a new feeling. Oh god, not now she thought to herself. Rage over took her just like that, like a fit a child threw. Her muscles tenses as her ears went aginst her head. She stared at him her eyes holding nothing but love and rage at the same time. She was going to regret what she said later. She wouldn't even blame Autograph if he left her to dream by herself. When she spoke her voice was hollow almost empty. It was her way in fighting back, without getting hurt. She didn't want her heart to break again and again. It was just too much to bear.

"Why! Why should i open my heart? To have ripped to shreds again and again? I don't even even feel you there with me. Did you know I have a new daughter? Did you know I got raped and held prisoner. What did you do stand by and watch? Did you even cry when i did? I wouldn't know, I never saw, heard, or even FELT you. So why, why should I open my heart, only to have it shatter? No, I had enough of that already! Why must I go through it again? If that's life I don't want to be apart of it. No now, not ever Autograph! Even if it means not opening my heart...to you," she said her voice almost breaking on the last two words.

When she said those words he should of known. Right than and there how much emotional trama she was going through. Her orbs looked away not being able to bare the look he would give her. She almost expected him to be furious at her. She half hoped it would hurt his heart, like he and so many others hurted hers. She was tired of being the one hurt, damn it! Why couldn't someone else be in her body for a day? Than they would know what she's been through. Hell, they most likely couldn't even last a day as me. That's what it felt like to her. Time and time again she always, always got hurt. Be it little or small every day was a new life of pain. She had to fight just to feel better, and only than it was small.

Please forgive if I hurt you
I told the truth from my heart
Even if I knew it would hurt
Both you and me, it would hurt
So, please darling forgive me
For I think I have lost
I tried to win this war for you...

.Autograph.

"Allowing trauma to effect you is a sign of a weak heart," Autograph replied calmly, turning to leave. If Dawn only wanted to yell at him, Autograph would leave. He wasn't going to intervene with her life or death choice.

Dawn

Why must you go without saying goodbye
Can I have one last look of you
May I have one last dance, my dear
Please don't leave my hear bleeding
It hurt's beyond belief, trust me
You don't want to feel this way...

Dawn felt like something slapped her in the face at what he said. When she saw him walking away it was almsot too much. Her body was alive with pain, but mostly in her heart. It felt like small knives were peircing her everywhere, while steak knifes peirced her heart. Ever nerve in her body was screaming with pain, and Dawn gasped out from it. Following that gasp was a pleading voice toward Autograph. She knew she was the last one to beg, but right now begging didn't seem so bad. He's just gonna walk away like that she thought. How much he had changed. In fact it reminded her of Stryker when she first met him. You said he was obnixious, well now look who's talking...

"Autograph please don't go. When you were alive, you wouldn't of just walked away. Like nothing was wrong! You would of stayed and dealt with it. Where's the stallion that I knew? Has he died too,"her voice had lost its hollow edge. If she could she would of chased after him comfronted him, to demand he talked to her. His words had hurt her, and now his leaving was causing her the worst pain in her life. Did he even still love her?

Should I just walk away without a word
Maybe I should just scream myself harsh
Why do you ignore me,even when I'm hurt
You make me want to hate you, so much
But I could never do that, not to you
I love you so bad,that your my heart...

.Autograph.

"Perhaps it is you who has changed. Nothing I can say will really help you, it is you who must help yourself. Be strong and face every challenge. That is all I can say," Autograph replied.

Dawn

Dawn didn't reply. With a snort she turned and left. She couldn't trust herself to speak. Besides she didn't want a bigger drift between the two. What would happen when she died. Dawn was tired of putting it off. With this whole conversation she felt like dieing. When she woke she went to Croal Mountains without stopping...